Common Suffering

I'm a big fan of written notes and cards. I like getting them and I like giving them. I used to regularly write cards/notes/letters of encouragement to my friends. I stopped a few years ago. Grad school does that to you...sucks away all your time & energy, forces you to take comfort in shallow meanderings and focus on the concrete.

I have a collection of meaningful emails/cards/notes/letters that served an integral purpose at the darkest moments of the last decade of my adult life. Clarification: I've only lived one decade of adulthood. From time to time, I like to sort through the collection and read some notes. I didn't realize why I liked doing this until today. The first 7 years of my adulthood was a hellhole and I say that with the knowledge that the word "hellhole" should not be taken lightly. I forget all too often how much of a hellhole I let myself live through, how much of a hellhole I created for myself. Here in a moment, I"ll let myself remember:

Since I don't really believe in a God, I don't know who to thank for Grace's presence in my life. Maybe TC? I've learned that bonding can come through suffering together. On this perilous path that we separately walked down in a parallel for so long, when we finally met, we didn't just bond through our common suffering. We suffered similarly yet there was more to our bond than that. It was one of common experience and understanding and being able to share anything an everything with someone who, in time duration, was so new to my life, but in spirit, seemed to have been with me for so long. I surround myself with people, a lot of people. It is in Grace's company that I don't feel so alone. Grace's spirit and regard gently hold onto my hand like a caring sister would. It is in Grace's mind & heart that I know I reside...as she does mine. - Cl

Thank you Cl, for walking with me and for leaving me a gentle reminder of the perilous path. The one we fought so hard to leave. I know you don't believe in God...but I am reminded of Him every time I look back at our time on that treacherous road together. I am reminded of Him every time I think of you and how in a moment of need, I found you...a parallel spirit. I am still always praying for you and that one day you'll know whose hand it was that fought to put us on a different path and is still fighting now so that we'll continue to be more than who we were then.